i didn't paint it but i did. or something (beautiful) did.

this painting was unexpected, yet. do you see the Steller's Jay near the top (albeit paler than actual ones)? i didn't paint it. well, i did, but i didn't. but i did. this is blotter paper on my table. so this bird is a result of just mushing paint around on a substrate and painting off the edges, or just wiping the brush to have less paint on it, or who knows what i was doing with the paint and or brush in those moments. oh right. apparently conjuring the beautiful being that is the Steller's Jay.

below is one, in the oak tree next to my deck. it's a little blurry but take in the magnificence of this creature.

and below are two. the one in the foreground nearly has the same pose (tho opposite) as the one in the painting. but i hope, if you're not familiar with them, you'll see why i literally blinked and gasped for a bit when i saw that i painted what i didn't paint but i did. 

i see them all day long every day. sometimes there are 5-6; swoon. a group of jays (there are a few varieties) is called a “band,” “cast,” “party,” or “scold” - mine are either a party or a scold depending on the moment. (wow do they scold and scold sometimes. so screechy.)

they know me. i know them. i love them. i wantwishhope that they love me too. 

in various cultures they symbolize wonderful things. i am accepting all of that as it seems all too not-an-accident that i unconsciously painted a let's-call-it-a-spirit-being whom i hold in such reverence and awe. the painting is now taped to my wall behind my painting table.