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New meaning to the old song:

February 11, 2017


"Love the one you're with..."

There's an old Stephen Stills song that I'm taking to a different level.  

 

Who are you always with? You.

 

Before we can love others, make a difference in the world, make changes with ourselves, do just about anything, we must love ourselves. 

I heard that eyeroll from some of you.  Please bear with me.

There's a whole lotta difficult-maddening-confusing-frustrating-horrible-violent-unconscionable-offensive-sad-hurtful-perplexing-worrisome-destructive-you-name-it things happening by and between people of large and small numbers. And it's happening within individuals.

And there always has been in the history of humankind. (Ah, hint, there's an important word, "kind.")

I can't do anything terribly effective or that will have much immediate impact on the masses to change that. Or so I think. 

It's been said many times by many wise and common people all over the world: Peace has to start with me. Love has to start with me. 

And I truly mean "with me." If you're beating yourself up, comparing yourself to others and feeling unworthy, less-than, ugly, useless, stupid, incapable, if you're tearing yourself down and focusing only on perceived flaws, lack, mistakes and failures, and that you can't do this, and think no one loves you... it's pretty difficult to love others and broadcast love and peace into the world and make a difference with another person or a multitude.

If I try to love someone and all they tell me and/or broadcast to me energetically is that they are unlovable and proceed to give me their evidence list of why, it's pretty hard for them to receive my love. My love has no where to land because they've closed off that possibility with their thinking.

Loving oneself begins with compassion for oneself. We're so quick to offer compassion to a friend or relative when they're hard on themselves, yet in private, there we are, beating ourselves up often for the same things we heard them say, but not extending that same compassion to ourselves.  We have this idea that we must be better or perfect or x, y, and z before we're okay enough, and worthy of being loved.

I call bullsh*t.

YOU are worthy of compassion and love. Period.

Every single one of us is. And it's what every single one of us want.

You don't have to do anything but be you. You don't have prove anything or change anything or be different or do x,y, and z to be okay enough to love yourself. You simply have to close your eyes, and go deep within to that beautiful heart, and whisper, "I love you." 

My hunch is, if you're like me, you'll immediately start weeping. (True story; repeated many times.)

It's not selfish, it's not egotistic or anything like that. It's how to empower ourselves, it's how to find our vision and purpose in life, it's how to be able to love others fully and honestly. 

You can go around telling yourself you love you all you want and all you need to. Or, simply swim in that feeling of love and imagine it around you all day. Do whatever you need to and feels right.  Leave love notes for yourself around your house. Give yourself flowers. Hug yourself. Wear clothes that you love. Do things that you love to do. Don't wait. Don't judge yourself that it's weird or wrong or concern yourself with what others may think.  

Be that loving person to yourself first that you are for others. You will feel the energy within you and around you change.

People will notice the peace and love in and around you, and they will relax, and feel more loving and peaceful even if they're not directly aware of it.  Peace truly does begin with us. 

You are not uniquely that one person who doesn't deserve love, who can't possibly allow loving feelings for yourself, who is not worthy of love. Please drop that thinking, drop the stories about what's wrong with you, damaged in you, broken in you - stop telling yourself and others those stories.  They are lies that only serve to separate you from your true, loving self, and all that is wanting to love you in the world.

Again, close your eyes, and feel love and compassion and kindness for yourself. Repeat this often. Start your day and end your night with this practice. Write it in your planner, set an alert on your phone, hire a skywriter, whatever it takes to remind yourself that you love your amazing, beautiful, wonderful, self, no matter what.  



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