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Courage in the face of vulnerability

December 15, 2015

I just did something pretty vulnerable the other day, and the outcome turned out better than I could have expected (not meaning to be vague or provocative, I do believe in keeping personal things personal at times because, well, it’s mine and I get to pick whether to share or not, unlike the oversharing segment of our culture that seems to think everything must be shared or demand that everything be shared).  I also took the leap to be vulnerable by joining a 30 day blogging challenge, deciding to share a lot of personal things via my writing despite my heart pounding in my chest over it, and it also has turned out better than expected.  

 

(In a previous post I wrote about courage and included links to Brene Brown’s vulnerability TED talk - if you didn’t read it, please do as it does have provide some deeper context here.)  

 

Great things come from being willing to be vulnerable and trust someone.  Great things come from willing to be vulnerable and trust yourself.  


That doesn’t mean everything will go our way every time.  I can’t count the number of times I’ve been vulnerable with someone and it’s not gone well, but in the end that outcome was the right outcome, even if it didn’t feel great at the time.  

 

Everything is here to teach us something if only we will step back and allow it, be vulnerable to say “I don’t know”, “I don’t know how”, “I’m scared” or “I’m hurt”, quieting our egos and fears enough to acknowledge this state we’re in.  Being vulnerable in the not knowing, quieting our minds, and coming sooner than later to acceptance of where we’re at is the beginning, the opening, that will shift things and allow what’s needed to come in.

 

It takes courage to be vulnerable with someone.  Vulnerability is not weakness, it’s strength.  It strengthens the bonds between us.  The feeling of vulnerability is a universal one for humans.  Every single person has experienced it in greater or lesser measures, in all or a few areas of life, in some or all periods of our lives.  So when someone comes to us in vulnerability, we recognize ourselves in them (if we’re awake and paying attention, and there are plenty of people who are not, certainly, and will take advantage of vulnerability, unfortunately), and it creates connection and opportunity for increased intimacy, understanding, the possibility to help someone if even by just listening, and so much more.  

 

It takes courage to be vulnerable with ourselves.  That may seem odd to some, how does one be vulnerable with oneself?  Before we can be vulnerable with someone else, we have to be very honest with ourselves, and some people really struggle with this, staying in denial, staying in ‘I can do this myself’ or ‘I’ll never let anyone know how I feel or what happened’ and then spinning their wheels, staying stuck in their suffering.  Being completely honest with ourselves is the opening, the beginning, the place where grace can come in, wash us over with compassion, and start to find clarity to help us with the next right tiny step.   


When I think back to the vulnerability of the other day and the great reward that came from it, it helped me with courage to have another vulnerable conversation just today, and again, the outcome was positive and brought a smile to my face.  Practicing vulnerability as a way of being does get easier, and it stops feeling like vulnerability - it does shift over to realizing it’s our strength and a beautiful way to live.

 

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I help people access their courage and do the work of making personal changes by creating safe space and providing compassionate, practical support.  I'm a certified life coach with a M.A. in Counseling.  If you'd like information on how to make changes and realize dreams, please click here.

 

If you'd like a free 30 minute clarity session with me to discuss where you're stuck and how I may be able to help, please read more on my website, and if you feel compelled please schedule it today.  I commend you for your courage to be vulnerable!

 

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Learn more at laurenoujiri.com, and on Facebook, Lauren Oujiri Coaching.



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