Big life changes: A swirl of thoughts

May 10, 2016

I have a lovely community online in which we support each other in learning and practicing self-care for our bodies, minds, and spirits.  One day I decided to ask them what would they like help with right now.  


One dear soul stepped up, was willing to be vulnerable (a huge part of self-care, actually), and asked about, to paraphrase, ‘the challenges of dealing with recurrent big life changes, and separating and focusing on this from the swirl of constant change’.  



These phrases jumped out at me:


Recurrent Big Life Changes.


Separating and Focusing.


Direction and Progress.


Swirl of Constant Change.


And, from those, this unfolded.  (Take a moment and contemplate the words, line by line, with a breath or two between each.)




Re-current. (Images of water sprang forth for me; and, a reminder that we are energy and that everything is energy and how are we managing our energy.)


Big Life.




Separating / Focusing.










Progress (noun).


Progress (verb).




Constant Change.




I sat with this a while.  And, a while more.  

I contemplated some of my own Big Life Changes:


  • Many moves across states, time zones, climates, urban to rural and back to urban.  (And another big move is on the horizon…)
  • Frequent career moves from industry to industry and position to position.
  • The diagnosis of an autoimmune disorder.
  • The ending of a fifteen year relationship.
  • Shedding 120 pounds.
  • Life coach training.
  • Being vulnerable.
  • Taking responsibility for my thoughts and actions.
  • Accepting and loving myself.  
  • Being myself.


I sat with this swirl a while.  And, a while more.

I returned to the words again, and then this stream of questions and awareness, consciousness and contradiction came forth; I honestly don't know where some of it came from but read on, it's... interesting:


Life is/we are a swirl of constant change.  


We can re-current our energy to align and flow with the swirl.  

We cannot separate completely from the swirl, although deep breathing and meditation help because maybe...


We can/can we step outside the swirl and witness it?


We can/can we direct the swirl?


Recurrent big life changes means there is still something to learn, a lesson we have separated ourselves from, not been willing to actually change, or perhaps not accepting we don’t need to change, we just need to be ourselves.


Maybe the recurrence is the direction and is the progress and is the swirl.


Is the direction and progress we think we want or are supposed to want according to the greater culture, the Everybody, going against our own current, our own swirl?  


What’s a big life, and do I want it?


Where have I been focusing that isn’t serving me, isn’t holding me in the lovely swirl?  

I am guessing all this might be producing frustration or discomfort, more confusion.  



I sat with all this for a while, I sat as part of the swirl, and let it take me.  I offer all this because it was as lovely as it was confusing, wanting and listening for the answers, and just getting more swirl.  



Sometimes simply being in the goo is where we need to be.

Later, I listened to a recording of Martha Beck regarding her newest, most magical book ever, “Diana, Herself.”  And, not surprisingly, she had some suggestions, as if she had dropped into the contemplation:


“We’re here to continuously fall and get up.”  It might sound depressing on first read, but life is nothing if not mistakes, learning, failing, flailing, getting back up, and starting again, or starting something entirely different, something calling us that we’re finally ready to listen to.  


And, in this, Martha reminds us that there are no mistakes:  It’s all feedback to help us with direction, and focus, and movement in the swirl of our lives, of bringing us back to ourselves.   We’re the ones who label things as mistakes and failures, and ourselves as mistakes and failures, refuse the feedback even, causing us suffering, producing resistance to the constant change that we are and life is.  


Remember, our breath falls and rises, falls and rises.  We are here to continuously fall and rise like our breath.  One needs the other.  Resistance to either makes things much more difficult.


“Pay attention to emotional resonance, not thought.  Tap into your compassion.  Find the sweetest frequency of emotion you can, be in it and invite it in.”  Re-current yourself, in other words.  What energy, emotion, are you swirling in?  Our thoughts often aren’t true yet we humans swirl in them for hours, years, decades, believing the stories, and often, the lies.  


Emotions, feelings of compassion, gratitude, curiosity, what brings us joy, that juicy flow when we’re engaged in things that make time disappear… inviting that in, deliberately being in that energy swirl is progress, gives us focus and direction, heals us, makes us feel safe, makes change more accessible, possible, palatable, and frees us, makes big change possible and less fraught.


And then, this:  “Don’t try to be anything but yourself.”  We’re at a time of unprecedented change in the world, the rapidity of which does leave us falling down and getting up and catching our breath.  Adaptation is everything now. We are all in constant transition, it seems.  


The constant of being ourselves, the changes that need to happen to remain ourselves, the being present and true to ourselves, the witnessing of and reveling in our own constant change is what results in a big life, or not even a "big" life, simply life, our life.  "Life" isn’t out there, it’s within us, in every moment, every atom. Invite it in, swirl in that sweet frequency of emotion that feels best to you.  Do what brings you joy, what nourishes you, not what poisons you.  


Trust in being yourself, no matter how scary at first.  As you do this, things and people in your life that aren’t serving you will fall away, leaving you with even more ease to be yourself, more big life and compassion in every moment.  



I am trusting something in all this helps you, darling reader, that one thing has jumped out and landed in your heart to provide the help need right now in your life.  


I know it’s a lot, I know it’s a bit messy, a big swirl.  


Breathe deeply and re-current yourself with a lot of love.


May you be safe, may you be free from suffering, may you be at peace, may you know you are deeply loved.




As a coach, I help people with their swirls.  For more information on working together to help you with your life direction, purpose, big changes, please contact me for a free clarity session or check out more on my blog and the pages of my website.



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